Lou Duva, who claims to be 85 even though many say he is 88, says that Don Elbaum is older than he is. Four years ago, Elbaum, caught off-guard admitted to being 62 which makes him 66 this year.

Don King and Bob Arum, both 75 and holding now, think Elbaum might be two years younger than they are. So let's do the math. Elbaum may be 66 or 73 or 76. He looks 46 with his still black and slicked back hair. He might keep it black with Kiwi or Esquire but, hey, that also keeps his shoes shined. Elbaum plays off the whole subject. You know, age is just a number and like that.

Columnist Dick Young labeled him "The Boy Promoter." Johnny Bos has a Ring magazine dated 1948, which refers to a young matchmaker named Don Elbaum. Bos pegs Elbaum's age as "between 75 and 80."

I first met Elbaum in 1966. I was a 15-year-old punk from Boston who used to hang out with Muhammad Ali and his sparmates, guys like Big Mel Turnbow, Harvey "Cody" Jones and Jimmy Ellis, and the great Drew "Bundini" Brown when some ogre named Angelo Dundee wasn't able to chase me away.

Being an unemployed, seventh or eighth-grader on a low budget, I took a bus to Canada from Boston. The bus got to the border and some Canadian official asked where I was going. I figured that telling him I was part of Ali's entourage might get me sent back to the U.S. or for mental observation so I mentioned that I was visiting Aunt Mary Boyd in Hamilton, Ontario. I was going to tell the official how much I loved hockey, eh, but he let me stay on the bus.

I went to the lakefront motel but found no one from the Ali group. Someone told me where Ali trained so I went to Sully's Gym. There, blocking the walkup entrance was a black-haired, sunglass-wearing guy who looked like a bouncer. He looked a bit like "Cookie" from the hit TV series 77 Sunset Strip except that he was not blond and he was not asking anybody to lend him a comb.

Who's this creep, I wondered? Then the creep demanded $10, which I was only short about $8, for admission. I went into a high-pitched warble about meeting my buddy, Jimmy Ellis, and he let me in.

The sparring was magical. Ali goofed off and Ellis dropped him with his patented left hook. Dundee yelled "time' as Ali got up and the champ told Angelo to let the clock run. He gave Ellis a sustained beating for about the next four minutes.

Back to Ponce de Elbaum. If he was 30ish then, he is 70ish now. But who cares? The man is a living legend who always has a hustle, a hook, a pitch.

Here are some of Elbaum's Greatest Hits:

* Had a grand plan to promote fights at upscale Sherry's Ranch, a legal brothel outside Las Vegas. Don thought of hosting some "around the world" championships. National TV was part of the scheme so you can imagine the specs of the round card hookers, I mean girls. Don says Nevada politicos put the kibosh on it "boxing could give prostitution a bad name."


* Ran a card in Warren, Ohio, to determine the World's Worst Boxer with an 0-13 fighter against an 0-18 opponent. Don had a nice, four-foot tall trophy made up for the winner of this match of great ineptitude. The loser was going to retire. It ended in a draw so Don kept the trophy and the gate receipts.

* Hyped a Puerto Rican lightweight named Jose Reyes who, Elbaum told media types, "rides into the ring on a unicycle and plays in a 15-person mariachi band." Mariachis are a tradition in Mexico only but Don let the music play on.

* Brought Russian heavyweight giant Nicolai Valuev to America in 2001 when Don King did not know who Valuev was. Backed by a guy named Joe O'Donnell, who is now trying to tie up Valuev's money from his October 7 WBA title defense in Chicago, Don threw a first-class press conference at the Russian Tea Room in New York. Proudly, he announced that this was the first time a sports news conference served caviar in America. Beer drinker fast Eddie Schuyler, Associated Press, piped up: "What is caviar?"

* Now handles the White George Foreman. WGF is Joey Abel who also better be ready and willing. He is 6-5, weighs 255 pounds, and was cut by the Green Bay Packers. Why is he a WGF? Don gives you his shorthand hustle. "Why, because he is 24-years-old and why because his 7-0, all by knockout, and why because he walks through people. In Don's creative mind, sometime soon he will find the Black Jerry Quarry. Don does not discriminate with his hyperbole. Oh, one more why. "Why, because Joey Abel is sensational."

* Don has taken breaks from boxing, for sure. He promoted torch singer Julio Iglesias and he was involved in the World Salsa Dancing Championships of which he says, "That was beeyootiful, nobody paid any sanction fees to any alphabet groups."

* Had another giant heavyweight. Don told the world the fighter was 7-1 and it turned out he was really 6-7. Don was nonplussed. "He is short for his height," he told the media.

* Battled back allegations of fixed fights single-handedly. Asked for his expert opinion as to whether Indiana "tomato can" Craig Houk took a dive against Meldrick Taylor, Elbaum said. "This did not happen. You would've had to pay Houk to stand up, not to lay down."

* Sentenced to Club Fed for an "oversight" regarding taxes, Elbaum turned it into a networking opportunity. "It's not so bad in here," he said from the joint. "I am running into a lot of old friends." I told you he was an optimist.

* More of a follower of M.L. King than Don King, Don's watchword has always been that injustice at home (plate) is injustice everywhere. It was with that maxim in mind that he got controversial baseball great Pete Rose voted into the Hall Of Fame...in Summit County, Ohio. 

* Promoted a fighter named Alvino Manson. Naturally, he billed him as being from the Manson Family. "He and all of his relatives are all part of the Manson Family," Elbaum said. 

* Besides the WGF, how about the BBC, the Black Billy Conn? Elbaum calls Philly heavyweight prospect Fast Eddie Chambers a "new Billy Conn although I got all them people in Pittsburgh upset." 

So if he is 66, 70, 73 or 76 or more, what does it matter? I didn't even mention his Marilyn Monroe of Boxing, Jen Childers, but then neither did he. And how about "the half-assed Mob guy who brought Valuev to me." The half-assed mobster got shot eight times and lived but Elbaum was in Altoona when it happened.

Ponce de Elbaum just keeps rolling along. He's smelling those flowers while he's living.

This Ponce has a fountain all right. The Fountain Of Boxing Bullshit.

Next time I see him, I'll fork over the sawbuck owed from Toronto, circa 1966.