At the finish, we can look at the Eternal Scorecard and see if Evander has paid enough "sanctioning fees" to safely pass thorough the Pearly Gates or whether he might be consigned to some sort of Pugilistic Purgatory,. (I think we can all agree that a guy who signs autographs with his name and John 3:16 below it is not destined to wind up in any Heavyweight Hades.) 

All of us can only hope that Heavenly Gatekeeper St. Peter (known as "The Rock" in his boxing days) operates with a semblance of the spiritual justice and wisdom of, let's say, Don Jose Sulaiman.

The Bible, nay all of organized religion, is centered around maxims and I don't mean the lascivious lads magazine featuring the hotties with the dental floss outfits. (If you're reading that, pal, you could be on a express train to The Hot Place.)

What maxims, then, does Rev. H live by? I am so blessed that you ask, you heathens. Now pay attention or get ready to swim the River Styx if you know what I mean. That river is plenty hot.

VENGEANCE IS MINE, SAYETH THE LORD
Mike Tyson ate Holy's ear like it was a sushi roll in Vegas. Tyson bit more than once like he was at an all you can eat buffet or doing an imitation of the Donner Party. But Holyfield says he bears no grudge against Masticating Mike. Of course, in their two fights it must be noted that Holyfield turned Mike from pit bull to chihuahua anyway.

"I bear Mike Tyson no ill will," Holyfield told me. "I got no grudge against or hatred of any other fighter. Would I fight Mike again? I would but he has to go beat somebody and get one of those (world) title belts. If not, I am not interested. My goal is to collect the three original belts, WBC, WBA and IBF and, if I can, the WBO belt also."

SUFFER THE LITTLE CHILDREN
I guess Charlotte can be considered part of the Bible Belt so, therefore, Calvin Brock, a child of 28 compared to the about to be 44 Holyfield, is a precocious Bible Belter.

Holyfield speaks highly of the unproven Brock.

"Brock, he is a good basic fighter from what I have seen," Holyfield said. "It will take a good basic fighter to beat (Wladimir) Klitschko."

BEWARE OF PUGILISTIC PONTIUS PILATES
Yeah, Holyfield means you NYSAC's Ron Scott Stevens. You couldn't make a medical suspension stick on a guy who carries a frequent customer card at the Mayo Clinic so you gave him an administrative suspension. Like Pilate, the weak-minded Governor of Judea, who handed You Know Who over to the mob, you did not administer any justice to Holyfield. There was no investigation and no hearing. Sounds more like ancient Judea than New York. You know, notice of and opportunity for a hearing, due process and those trivial things we take so seriously in America.

"He (Stevens) is all about making himself look good," Holyfield said. "I passed all the medical tests but this guy think he's bigger than that. He knows more than the doctors do. I won't come to try to fight in New York because I don't want to be anywhere I am not invited. He tried to embarrass me. I'm an adult, not a kid. They should save someone who needs saving. I don't need saving. I can swim."

PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH
Holyfield launched this comeback, for "Holyfield V: The Final Chapter," against a straight up tomato can named Jeremy Bates. Surely the parade of sacrificial lambs would continue. Surely this would be like Rev. George Foreman coming back against a succession of stiffs or Brother Tyson, fresh from prison, facing Blowhard McNeeley or Scaredy Cat Seldon. Except it wasn't surely, Shirley, because Evander flips the script(ure) on November 10 in San Antonio against capable contender Fast Fres Oquendo. Jermain Taylor feels Holyfield's theme, evidently, which is no risk, no gain, as young Taylor demanded an immediate rematch with Slinky Winky.

As a fan or a TV fight-buyer, you got to say hallelujah to that witnessing of the Old Testament .

RENDER UNTO CAESAR
And I don't mean Caesars Palace because the hotel-casino rendered plenty unto Holyfield. By this we mean, gospel students, that Holyfield has always followed both the letter and sprit of the boxing governing bodies. He gives an example regarding a has Bean named Vaughn Bean. Perhaps I should more properly say a never Bean.

"Lennox Lewis got two belts out of a trash can (discarded by Riddick Bowe). But I followed the rules and regulations. When the IBF said I must fight Bean, people told me not to do it. I said I'm not getting stripped of the belt for not fighting him. So I fought him. I know the only way you become undisputed is to get all the belts."

TO THE PROMISED LAND
What is Rev. Holyfield's end goal? "I think my goals are the will of God because God says you're supposed to have a greater end than a beginning. I was age eight when I started boxing and it took me 20 years to become a world champion but I did it.

" I want to beat all the people who got the belts now. I plan on fighting all four of the champs unless they lose to someone else. I got the endurance, the patience. I came back this time to become heavyweight champion, not to just get attention. 
"This is my season. All the things that happened to me in the off-season (injuries, license suspension in New York) well that was just my off-season. I wouldn't accept (Oquendo) an opponent I can't handle.

"I can be undisputed heavyweight champion sometime in 2008. Then it will be lights out for me as a boxer. I'll be able to wash my hands of boxing then. "Then I will invite everyone to a big party."

Curtis Mayfield sang that, "If There's Hell Below, We're All Gonna Go."
Amen, amen, I say to you I think the Right Rev. Holyfield is skipping the Low Place and the Middle Place and going straight to that Pugilistic Penthouse. Surely, The One Great Scorer is a fight fan. 

If so, Evander gets a unanimous verdict.

Reservation for one, please, in Heavyweight Heaven.